Let’s Be Honest – Most of Us Were Never Taught How to Do This
Taking control of your finances can feel overwhelming when you’ve never been taught about personal finance – and that’s the reality for many first-gen women of color. We’re often the first in our families to learn about budgeting, credit scores, emergency funds, debt payoff strategies, investing, and long-term financial planning.
It’s a lot.
It can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even intimidating. Not because you’re bad with money, but because you’re learning something no one had the opportunity to teach you.
If you’ve ever avoided opening your bills because it’s easier than dealing with the anxiety…
Or wondered how you can earn more than anyone in your family ever has and still feel behind…
Or felt overwhelmed by where to even start…
You’re not alone.
This guide will walk you through a simple, clear 5-step roadmap to take control of your finances with clarity and confidence.
Step 1: Know Your Numbers to Take Control of Your Finances
Knowing your numbers is the first step to taking control of your finances.
This is where clarity begins and where most transformation happens for my coaching clients.
Do a Money Audit
- Gather 3 months of your bank and credit card statements
- Calculate how much money came in. I mean ALL of the money that came in. Salary from your 9-to-5, side hustle, alimony, child support, EVERY. SOURCE. OF. INCOME.
- Calculate how much money went out by category:
- Fixed expenses: rent/mortgage, utilities, transportation, insurance, child care
- Variable expenses: groceries, eating out, shopping, personal care
- Subscriptions: streaming apps, memberships
- Debt: balances, minimum payments, interest rates
- Savings: checking, savings, emergency fund, sinking fund
- Family obligations: financial support, shared bills
- Irregular expenses: gifts, travel, car maintenance, car registration, medical bills
Reflect
- What surprised you?
- What spending felt aligned with your values?
- Which expenses didn’t?
- What do your habits reveal about your relationoship with money?
- What beliefs from childhood still show up in how you spend or save?
This part may hurt a little. Some people call it their come-to-Jesus moment when they realize how much money they’ve actually spent. You may not even remember spending money on some of the things on your bank statement, and may be tempted to turn into Shaggy.
Keep in mind that whatever your numbers are, they are not good or bad. They just are. This step is not about judgment or shame. It’s about clarity and increasing your awareness because you can’t change what you don’t know.
Step 2: Find Your Financial Gap (Your Starting Point for Change)
Oce you know your numbers, it’s time to calculate your Financial Gap.
Financial Gap = Income – Expenses
your gap tells you three things:
- Do you have enough to cover your expenses?
If your expenses exceed your income, you need to make a change. Decide which expenses you can cut and make a plan to increase your income. - If your gap is small, how can you expand it?
A small gap isn’t failure, it’s just data. Increasing your gap gives you breathing room and options. - If your gap is positive, how can you use it intentionally?
Without intention, money disappears. With intention, it becomes a tool. This part may feel like you got a raise. Where did this extra money come from? It was in your bank account all along. The difference is that now you’re going to be intentional with your money, knowing exactly where it’s going and spending it on what’s important to you.
Your Financial Gap is the number that will help you reach the goals in the next step.
Step 3: Set Your Financial Goals and Priorities (Define Your Destination)
Now that you know your numbers and your gap, it’s time to think with the end in mind.
Because your spending plan should not feel random or restrictive. It should work like your GPS, a roadmap that leads you to the life you want.
Ask yourself:
“What do I want my money to help me accomplish?
Here are the core areas to consider:
1. Stability Goals (your safety net)
These goals protect you while you build:
- Save a starter emergency ($1,000-$1,500)
- Catch up on late bills
- Build a small sinking fund for predictable expenses that are coming up (gifts, holidays, car repairs, school supplies)
Stability goals reduce stress and keep you from falling deeper into debt during emergencies.
2. Debt Goals (free up future money)
- Choosing a debt payoff strategy (snowball vs. avalanche)
- Paying extra toward debt
- Reduce credit card balances to avoid interest piling up
Debt payoff isn’t about punishment, it’s about reclaiming your future income.
3. Savings & Lifestyle Goals (the things that matter to you)
Here are some examples:
- Build a full emergency fund (3-6 months of expenses)
- Create sinking funds to save for travel or a big purchase
- Move to a new apartment
- Prepare for a career change
Savings should reflect your values, not someone else’s.
4. Wealth-Building Goals (your long-term future)
If you’re ready to start investing, consider:
- Monthly investing amount
- Increasing retirement contributions
- Opening a Roth IRA
- Saving for a home
You don’t need to start big. You just need to be intentional and consistent.
Why Step 3 Matters:
Your goals determine how you will use your Financial Gap. This is the moment where your money starts shifting from reactive to intentional.
Step 4: Build Your Spending Plan (Your Roadmap to Your Goals)
Download my Free Aligned Spending Plan and add the numbers you captured from your money audit to the income and expense categories. Don’t forget to allocate money toward your goals and the things that you love!
This is your roadmap – your GPS – that tells your money where to go so you can reach the goals you set in Step 3.
Your spending plan should include:
- Monthly bills
- Minimum debt payments
- Extra debt payoff (if that’s a goal)
- Starter emergency fund contributions
- Sinking funds
- Savings goals
- Investing (if you’re ready)
- Guilt-free spending
- Your non-negotiables
Every dollar now has a purpose. This is the moment where overwhelm turns into clarity.
Step 5: Set up Weekly and Monthly Money Dates
Taking control of your finances isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about checking in consistently and making adjustments as needed.
Think of this as your maintenance system. The thing that keeps your financial progress steady and sustainable.
Weekly Money Dates
(15 minutes: maintenance + awareness)
Weekly check-ins keep you aligned without letting things pile up and become overwhelming.
- Look at your transactions from the week
- Check what bills are coming up next week
- Review your spending against your plan
- Transfer money to sinking funds
- Celebrate your wins
Monthly Money Dates
(30 minutes: planning + reflection)
Monthly money dates are your strategy reset – the moment you zoom out and see the big picture.
- Review the entire month’s spending
- Where did your money go?
- What categories were higher or lower?
- What surprised you?
- Update your spending plan for next month
- Adjust categories
- Add new expenses
- Remove anything unnecessary
- Refill your sinking funds
- Track progress toward your goals
- Review and adjust your debt payoff plan
- Add to your emergency fund
- Review your investments
- Check-in on your mindset
- What did you learn about yourself this month?
- What financial habit felt easy?
- What was hard?
- What boundaries do you need to set?
- Set intentions for next month and celebrate your wins!
Schedule money dates in your calendar and get started!
Make it a ritual you enjoy.
Light a candle.
Pour a drink.
Play music.
Make money feel safe, not stressful.
What’s Next?
Remember to download my Free Aligned Spending Plan and book a call to work with me in my 1:1 coaching program if you want personalized support and radical accountability.
